A Bumblebee Buzzing

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Cheers and laughter erupted from the crowd. The sun was shining. Friends stood together as families took pictures. A bumblebee buzzing in the distance. Blue eyes met hers. The world paused. A question left hanging in the air. Before she could walk towards him, the world started turning once more. A flood of color and sound returned, startling her. A parting look before walking to their respective families. A bumblebee buzzing in the distance.


I decided to try something different with my writing today, but try to keep it true to what I typically write about. I like to ramble and it translates into my writing. For the past couple of years, I have been writing long stories, filled with description. Recently, I read a story that was less than 500 words and it really hit me. There was intensity, chaos, and emotion. I started to see the impact a short story/drabble can have and I want to integrate some of that into my writing.

What did you think of my first attempt? Any feedback would be welcome!

photo credit: Japanese Anemone via photopin (license)

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4 thoughts on “A Bumblebee Buzzing

  1. mariannescottwriter says:

    This is a lovely piece, a fleeting attraction from an admirer, mutual but brief. It reads like a piece of prose poetry. It imprints a vivid picture complete with emotion in the mind of your reader. It made me revisit a piece that I wrote last year. Thank you.

    Like

  2. MrsKirstyHoll says:

    I agree with Marianne’s points. It flows so well and you can watch the scene play in your head as you read it. Beautifully descriptive without being overally so. If you want to try writing more short pieces I find the book – 642 things to write about – a really helpful inspiration point.

    Like

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